Real World Mom

First posted on December 19, 2007, “Still Waiting”, was the current state in the long process of my pending divorce. See the update that follows!

---

“Still Waiting”
Still no forward movement on my divorce.My soon-to-be-ex recently offered me $600 as a divorce settlement. Yeah, I laughed too!

Now my lawyer wants another $1,000 to continue working on the case. I don’t have $1,000 to give her, and all I can see that the first $1,000 got me was her filing the divorce petition–pretty expensive!

The waiting continues…

---

Update:
My soon-to-be-ex and I have talked on the phone no less than three times in the last week. These have been the most civil–I’d even go so far as to say they were friendly–discussions we’ve had in close to a year. I have to say, it’s been nice.Not only do we share four children, I’ve known “D” for most of my life. I first met him when I was about 10 years old. We grew up in the same town and had some of the same friends.The idea that we may never get along again made me sad. For one thing, it definitely makes things harder on the kids. And, to be completely honest, I’d like to feel that either of us could be comfortable picking up the phone to call and talk about the kids or even to see how the other is doing. I’m not sure how realistic it is to hope for something like that, but time will tell.

As of this moment, it seems we have finally agreed on a settlement. I think I compromised more than he did, but, after almost a year of the divorce process, I’m just really ready to have it over with. To be fair, “D” did give in a little too, so at least I can live with the decision I’ve made.

Hopefully I’ll receive the paperwork soon–and it will be correct! Then it will just be a matter of waiting for the court to approve it and issue the divorce decree! It will be such a relief to have that closure!

~  ~  ~  Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures and Coleen at Manners and Moxie.  ~  ~  ~

Send me a cup of java!

“My Dog Madison”, originally posted on 12/9/07, is my re-post for this week’s Scrolling Saturday.

In case you weren’t aware of it yet, I started a new blog, The Salty Mooch, in honor of Madison. Although you will see photos and updates about her there, the main idea of the blog is to share animal related stories, news and information.

The latest post, Oprah Sheds Light on the Reality of Puppy Mills, focuses on the cruel circumstances that the dogs in those places exist (not live). The show was heart-wrenching, and I cried through most of it. I hope you will take the time to go and read it and pitch in where you can.

The Salty Mooch

---

“My Dog Madison”

Madison, aka “Maddie”, is 6 years old, and the sweetest, most gentle creature I’ve ever known. I once saw a sign that read, “Dogs are people with fur.” That describes Maddie as though the phrase were inspired by her!Our love seat has become her “Princess Couch,” & she enjoys lounging & napping there quite frequently! (Although, as I write this, she is sound asleep & snoring on the bed right behind me!)

Madison is not into playing ball or chewing on squeaky toys. What Maddie enjoys most is being near her family– showing us how much she loves us with the “whomp, whomp, whomp” of her ‘tail of destruction’ (you’d appreciate this affectionate nickname if you ever witnessed it clear a table or felt it make contact with your leg!) , or gracing us with her sweet puppy smile.

Stay tuned for more tails of “Maddie the Mooch”!

---

Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures and Coleen at Manners and Moxie.

Send me a cup of java!

Originally posted on 12/12/07, “Perfectionism”, is still something I struggle with.

---

Perfectionism

Why is it that we are so often our own worst critics? It can be a very difficult way of life, when we are consistently putting ourselves down, telling ourselves that what we do isn’t good enough, that we’re not good enough…So we try harder, determined to make every endeavor turn out perfectly. But, every endeavor does not turn out perfectly (in fact, probably very few do), and we are left feeling even worse about ourselves and our abilities.

In my own personal situation, I think this was a contributing factor to my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) diagnosis. I remember my doctor telling me, “You can’t be ’super mom’, you can’t do it all!” I’ve reminded myself of that quite often over the years, and it does help fairly often.

It’s not as though the world expects us to be perfect in everything we say and everything we do–so why do we put that unrealistic expectation on ourselves? Will your son love you less because your boss got upset with you yesterday? Do you think your husband will sleep on the couch if there’s a dish in the sink? Does your daughter avoid you because you’re having a bad hair day? Surely your best friend will simply refuse to go to the mall with you because you haven’t picked up that dry cleaning yet!

This all sounds silly, but, the bottom line is, that’s what it’s really all about. Your family and friends love you–imperfections and all! We need to look at ourselves with that same kind of love, care and understanding that those close to us do–and give ourselves a break!!

---

Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures and Coleen at Manners and Moxie. Be sure to stop by and say howdy!

Send me a cup of java!

The following post was originally written on December 16, 2007. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by some the most caring, generous and loving people on the planet, so felt this post was worth repeating!

---

Another Form of Family

We’ve all seen the phrase, “Friends are family we choose for ourselves.” And how true that is for me! Especially over the last four years or so, my friends have been more like family than the one I was born into.When I first separated from my husband, it was my friends who were there to offer encouragement and support when my ‘real family’ all but turned their backs on me.To this day, my friends still feel more like family than my blood relatives do.

In the past year and a half, I’ve been blessed with the addition of a whole new branch to my self-made family tree. My boyfriend’s family and extended family have become a very important part of my life. In a very short time, I felt welcomed, accepted and cared about, and I certainly felt the same about them!

There are times I mourn not having the relationship I’d like with my parents, brother and sister. It should be different, but it’s not, and I don’t believe there’s anything I can do to significantly change that. What I focus on is the wonderful people who surround me now. And I try to remind myself–often–of how very lucky I am to have my chosen family!

---

Scrolling Saturday was created by the most wonderful Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures and the very talented Coleen at Manners and Moxie.

Happy Saturday!

Don’t forget to stop by and check out my new blog: The Salty Mooch! It’s not quite a week old yet, and could use some bloggy love!

Send me a cup of java!

It’s time for Scrolling Saturday again! The topic this week: Should I go back to school?

---

Too Cool For School–At 40?

Last summer, I decided I was going to attend the local community college. In a short period of time, I applied to the school (and was accepted!), applied for financial aid and took my placement test. Then, life just seemed to get in the way, and I never enrolled.

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking more and more about getting that fire going under myself again.

As far as I’m concerned, my career has reached a dead end. My background is in retail, and I just don’t have the energy to do that anymore. I want to do something different–perhaps even something meaningful.

I want to get my Associate’s Degree as a Human Services Technician…I think.

I’ll be 40 years old in just two months. Am I crazy to be considering starting all over at this age? Or is it never too late to improve your life?

---

Two months after writing this, I’m still undecided. Any advice from the blogosphere?

To see all the participants of Scrolling Saturday, or to join in the fun, visit THIS PAGE.

Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures and Coleen at Manners and Moxie. Be sure to stop by and show them some bloggy-love!

Happy Saturday!

Send me a cup of java!

This week, I’m re-posting “Isn’t it Romantic?” (from 12/11/07) because the event I wrote about happened almost exactly one year ago. (Yeah, I’m a sentimental freak, and that will be confirmed by the following post.)

---

Isn’t it Romantic?On my birthday this year, my boyfriend gave me what is the sweetest, most romantic gift I’ve ever received: a letter. He’s a loving, caring man, with an awesome sense of humor! But, sometimes, he keeps his feelings out of sight. That’s a big part of why my birthday letter touched me so deeply.

An excerpt:

“Why You Mean So Much to Me”

I love you because, where I am dark, you are light. I love you because you shine that light into my darkness every day of our life together.

You make me laugh when I’d rather cry. You make me smile in spite of myself.

You give me all of you, freely, with kindness, sincerity and love, every waking moment.”

How could I not be completely and madly in love with a man who can tell me these things?!

---

This letter continues to be something that I cherish and I re-read it often. In fact, it is hanging on my bulletin board, right here next to me.

It’s not the paper or the ink that make it mean so much. It’s not even the words really. It’s the feelings that are conveyed–straight from his heart. Along with the realization of how very fortunate I am to be loved in a way I never dreamed possible.

Ok! Enough of the sappy stuff!

Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures (my newest “stalker”!) and Coleen from Manners and Moxie. Go show these talented ladies some love, and let ‘em know I sent ya!

Send me a cup of java!