Originally posted on 12/12/07, “Perfectionism”, is still something I struggle with.

Perfectionism

Why is it that we are so often our own worst critics? It can be a very difficult way of life, when we are consistently putting ourselves down, telling ourselves that what we do isn’t good enough, that we’re not good enough…So we try harder, determined to make every endeavor turn out perfectly. But, every endeavor does not turn out perfectly (in fact, probably very few do), and we are left feeling even worse about ourselves and our abilities.

In my own personal situation, I think this was a contributing factor to my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) diagnosis. I remember my doctor telling me, “You can’t be ’super mom’, you can’t do it all!” I’ve reminded myself of that quite often over the years, and it does help fairly often.

It’s not as though the world expects us to be perfect in everything we say and everything we do–so why do we put that unrealistic expectation on ourselves? Will your son love you less because your boss got upset with you yesterday? Do you think your husband will sleep on the couch if there’s a dish in the sink? Does your daughter avoid you because you’re having a bad hair day? Surely your best friend will simply refuse to go to the mall with you because you haven’t picked up that dry cleaning yet!

This all sounds silly, but, the bottom line is, that’s what it’s really all about. Your family and friends love you–imperfections and all! We need to look at ourselves with that same kind of love, care and understanding that those close to us do–and give ourselves a break!!

Give me 5 ways you like to de-stress, relax, wind-down or kick back:

1. Take a nice, long, hot bubble bath
2. Get lost in a good book
3. Take a walk
4. Pamper myself: do my nails, go get my hair cut, treat myself to something chocolate
5. Go shopping (it’s been a while since this tactic has been used though… See previous post!)

The ‘Give Me Five’ Monday meme is designed to share fun information with each other in a simple, short list! Here’s how it works: Each week, I will put out a random topic from my list of topics and you share 5 answers of your choice on the given topic and link back here! You can add photos, links or stories or just a simple list of your own of 5 things that relate to the topic as it pertains to you and your life experiences. It doesn’t have to be in any order of importance unless otherwise specified.

Sign up for weekly reminder emails at beccagirl@charter.net.

The ‘Give Me Five’ Monday meme is designed to share fun information with each other in a simple, short list! Here’s how it works: Each week, I will put out a random topic from my list of topics and you share 5 answers of your choice on the given topic and link back here! You can add photos, links or stories or just a simple list of your own of 5 things that relate to the topic as it pertains to you and your life experiences. It doesn’t have to be in any order of importance unless otherwise specified.

Sign up for weekly reminder emails at beccagirl@charter.net.

THIS WEEK’S THEME:  GIVE ME 5 LINKS TO YOUR OWN PAST BLOG POSTS THAT ARE MOST MEMORABLE FOR YOU.

1-  To Pierce or Not to Pierce (12/27/07)~  Guess I like this post because I decided to stand up to my stbx.  For years, he controlled me (or tried to), so it’s empowering to do what I think is right, whether he agrees or not.  Her birthday is in three weeks!

2-   Another Form of Family (12/16/07)~  This one is near and dear to my heart because it’s about my friends and how important they are to me.

3-  Perfectionism (12/12/07)~  I battle with this way too frequently.

4-  Teen Alcohol & Substance Abuse (1/25/08)~  Important info here!

5-  Top 10 Sex Myths Debunked (1/21/08)~   Found some entertaining stuff in the article that inspired this post.

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU

Copy this entire list of questions and change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then tag and pass it along to other blogging friends. Let’s see how well we can get to know one another!

1. What is your occupation? At the moment, I refer to myself as a “Domestic Goddess”.

2. What color are your socks right now? White (and I’m only wearing them because it’s Winter and I’m freezing!).

3. What are you listening to right now? My computer (it’s loud) and the washing machine (refer to #1).

4. What was the last thing that you ate? If I could remember, I’d tell ya.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes. (You didn’t ask if I can do it well though.)

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? That’s easy, purple.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My friend/sister, Vicki.

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? He’s freaking AWESOME!

9. Favorite drink? #1: Coffee; #2: Diet Pepsi.

10. What is your favorite sport to watch? Naked male mud wrestling (this should produce some interesting Google searches, eh?). That is a sport, right?

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? A time or two…

12. Pets? Yes. Oh, did you want to know what? Well, I think you all know Madison!

13. Favorite food? Pasta, I could eat it every damn day.

14. Last movie you watched? “Maid in Manhattan”.

15. Favorite Day of the year? Any day that doesn’t involve a crapload of stress or bull$hit!

16. What do you do to vent anger? Write. Cry. Or both.

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? See #4.

18. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Spring. New life, Spring Cleaning… @@

19. Hugs or kisses? Depends who they’re from!

20. What kind of pie? Don’t really like pie. But I can make ‘em pretty good!

21. Do you want your friends to email you back? No. I so thoroughly enjoy writing emails so they can be ignored. Don’t you?

22. Who is most likely to respond? Me, myself or I.

23. Who is least likely to respond? Jimmy Hoffa.

24. Living arrangements? My guess is that my living was arranged by my parents? Am I close?

25. When was the last time you cried? Last night when T told me I had to finish my dinner in order to get dessert. I’ll have the same tantrum again tonight.

26. What is on the floor of your closet? How long have you got?

27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? Haven’t decided who I’m going to torture tag just yet.

28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are sending this to? That’s easy–Paisley Goddess!

29. Favorite smell? My man, fresh from the shower! Mmm!

30. What inspires you? My insatiable desire to be Root, biotch! (Just for you, T!)

31. What are you afraid of? Bugs. But T found a cool way to help with that, a Bug Sucker! (It’s on my birthday wish list!)

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? I love to be cheesy!

33. Favorite car? My Oldsmobile Intrigue. It was black, cool looking and fast!

34. Favorite cat breed? The kind that says, “Meow.”

35. Number of keys on your key ring? 3? 4? 5?

36. How many years at your current job? I’ve been a “Domestic Goddess” since I was 18. Before that, I was in training.

37. Favorite day of the week? Friday. Goes back to the days of school and waiting for the weekend.

38. How many provinces have you lived in? Who me?

39. How many countries have you been to? Does the one I live in count?

I am going to tag:
Judy, Ash, Kelly and Jill.

As always, you do not have to participate, the choice is yours.

Are you a member of cre8Buzz? If so, please visit my page and Donna’s and say hello! If you’re not, go check it out and see what you’ve been missing! Hope to see you soon!

100 Things I’ve Learned As A Mother

1. Love knows no boundaries
2. When you think you can’t possibly give any more, you do
3. You’ve got to choose your battles
4. I’m not much for defending myself, but don’t mess with my kids!
5. I know what unconditional love is
6. You learn to deal with boo-boos
7. I have three boys
8. How to deal with broken bones
9. And stitches
10. As well as bad dreams
11. Bad report cards
12. How not to puke when changing really gross diapers
13. Morning sickness is temporary
14. As is babyhood
15. There’s nothing like the feeling you get when looking into your baby’s eyes and they’re looking back at you
16. I’ve learned to trust my instincts
17. Though I don’t always listen to them
18. And I usually regret it
19. You really can feel your heart swell with pride
20. Seeing those first steps
21. When they take off on that bike alone for the first time
22. And your heart is in your throat
23. But they fly!
24. Good report cards
25. Seeing them in a production at school (no matter how minor the part, they’re stars!)
26. Coffee really is fuel
27. I didn’t start drinking it until I was 21
28. After child #2
29. I needed serious fuel with him
30. And even more with #3
31. I believe in something I call “Second Child Syndrome”
32. It seems one of the second child’s obligations to his or her parents is to drive them crazy
33. And supply your gray hair
34. And be really sweet and lovable–at just the right moments
35. I remember a comedian once said, “God makes babies cute so you don’t kill ‘em”
36. I think it was Gallagher (the comedian)
37. I think he was right
38. Sleep becomes a rare and much sought-after commodity
39. Don’t plan on getting any until they’re teenagers
40. And like to sleep late themselves
41. But then you lie awake worrying about them anyway
42. Who they’re friends are
43. What they’re really doing when they’re not home
44. Will they do the right things?
45. Make the right choices?
46. Will they be successful?
47. Will my car come home in the same shape it left in?
48. Is their new job interfering too much with school?
49. Isn’t it time for them to be home by now?
50. Labor is only the beginning of the pain you’ll go through as a Mom
51. You’ll hurt every time one of your kids does
52. It will devastate you to see them disappointed
53. Or, worse yet, injured
54. I am able to handle more than I think I can
55. Son #2 had an accident in which he fractured his skull
56. He was only 7
57. I’ve never been so scared
58. He was at a children’s hospital for three days
59. The worst three days of my life
60. I still thank God it wasn’t nearly as serious as it could have been
61. I needed my Mom during that time too
62. You don’t outgrow needing your Mom
63. There is just never going to be enough time
64. To do all that you want to do
65. To see all that you want to see
66. Or to say all that you want to say
67. I have to do the best that I can
68. You can never say “I love you” too much
69. I don’t remember my parents saying it to me
70. I make sure I say it to my children (and loved ones) at every opportunity
71. My kids say “I love you”
72. Even after four pregnancies and four kids, I still can’t handle puke
73. Doing it
74. Seeing someone do it
75. Hearing anyone do it
76. I did, however, get used to the sight of blood
77. Son #2 got stitches twice
78. Once in his head
79. And once in his lip
80. I told him the scar would look sexy one day
81. He’s 18 now
82. And it does!
83. No, I don’t think my son is sexy
84. But he is very handsome!
85. Son #3 cut his hand pretty badly when he was two
86. We got to skip the stitches on that one though
87. Because we sat in the emergency room so long, it stopped bleeding
88. We called his pediatrician from the ER, and he advised us how to care for it
89. My daughter has broken both of her wrists
90. Once when she fell off of a bike
91. The other when she fell off of a skateboard
92. Wheels can be dangerous
93. Son #1 is now 20
94. A year older than I was when I had him
95. Son #2 is 18
96. Son #3 is 16
97. Daughter #1 (and only) will be 13 in just under a month
98. I have been blessed with four beautiful children
99. They are beautiful inside and out
100. Nothing else I do in this lifetime will ever be as important as being their mother

The ‘Give Me Five’ Monday meme is designed to share fun information with each other in a simple, short list! Here’s how it works: Each week, I will put out a random topic from my list of topics and you share 5 answers of your choice on the given topic and link back here! You can add photos, links or stories or just a simple list of your own of 5 things that relate to the topic as it pertains to you and your life experiences. It doesn’t have to be in any order of importance unless otherwise specified.

Sign up for weekly reminder emails at beccagirl@charter.net.

This week’s list: Give me 5 things to do during your favorite season of the year.

Summer is my absolute favorite season, and these are just some of the things I like to do:

1.) Go to the beach. I actually don’t spend a lot of time in the water. I prefer to lay/sit on the beach, with my eyes closed and just listen to the ocean. Actually, I like going anytime of the year since I only live about 10 minutes away! It’s great in the winter because there aren’t many people there. The photo below was taken about a year ago.

3.) Play in my gardens. Wow, that sounds pretty romantic, doesn’t it? Like I have a huge garden on the grounds? In reality, I have several small gardens/beds where I love to plant flowers. And watch the butterflies.

4.) Get outside and take photos! When the weather is non-frigid, it’s fun to go places and see things and then try to capture those memories. (It’s probably nice at other times of the year too, but I’m a wimp and just don’t like the cold!)

Here are the instructions and my answers:

A) Each player answers the questions about themselves.

B) At the end of the post, the player then tags 2 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog. (But, like Maria, I’m not going to tag anyone, I’ll just leave it open to do if you want to.)

Ten years ago:
- it was February 1998
- I was selling PartyLite
- I was living on Walnut Street in Pennsylvania
- I was 10 years younger than I am now
- I had no idea what I was in for

Five things that were on my to-do list for today:
- laundry
- dishes
- try to keep up with my ever-expanding Google reader!
- change the sheets
- work on my new site

I enjoy:
- taking photos
- reading
- learning
- gardening
- blogging

What would I do if I suddenly became a millionaire:
- buy a car (don’t have a particular model in mind, just something that runs would work)
- put money away for the kids
- get T some really cool tech-type toys
- pay off the home of a family that’s like my own (I’d have to be real sneaky to get away with it)
- hire the meanest divorce lawyer I could find to kick the stbx’s ass!

Five jobs that I have had:
- jewelry sales
- auto parts delivery driver (high school)
- receptionist at a veterinary hospital
- Yankee Candle store manager
- front desk supervisor at a Gold’s Gym

Five things that people don’t know about me:
- I’m shy
- my favorite color is purple
- I love chocolate
- I am generally an optimistic person
- I believe that coffee is it’s own food group

• It’s freezing in NJ!
• The stbx is still dragging his feet and refusing to give in cooperate. My daughter informed me that he purchased new carpeting and new furniture last week, and he’s thinking about buying a flat-screen tv. But, when he lies talks to me, he’s “broke.”
• Still haven’t found a source of income.
• My back has been hurting me off and on (mostly on lately) for the last seven months. I’m in NJ, my doctor is in PA, and I have no way to get to her.
• My 40th birthday is in three weeks–how much does that suck?!
• I’m PMSing BIG time (poor T!).

On the plus side…

• My kids are healthy and happy.
• Spring will eventually be here.
• I am loved by some incredible people!
• As for the stbx: What goes around comes around.
• I have my internet connection!

This week’s topic: Give me 5 vacation destinations you’ve already enjoyed or would like to some day.

Here are my answers:

1- St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands: LOVED it there! Warm and beautiful beaches. Did I mention it was *warm* there??

2- Florida: Not exotic, but it’s one of my favorite places to go because my best friend lives there! (And it’s also *warm*!)

3- New York, NY: I can hear the snickers and see the eye rolls, but, wait! I have a good reason! I’ve been to NY City before, but I want to go again with my guy because he was born and raised there. It’s always better to visit a place with someone who really knows it!

4- Ocho Rios, Jamaica: My parents were there, and I saw the pics. I wanna go! (And, you guessed it, it’s *warm* there!)

5- Hawaii: I don’t think I even need to give a reason for that!

Ok, now it’s your turn!