Real World Mom

“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.” ~Author Unknown



“If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies”. ~Author Unknown

“Build Me Up Buttercup”
Why do you build me up (Build me up) buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (Let me down)and mess me around
And then worst of all (Worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (Say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin’
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (Build me up) buttercup, don’t break my heart”I’ll be over at ten”, you told me time and again
But you’re late, I wait around and then (Bah-dah-dah)
I run to the door, I can’t take any more
It’s not you, you let me down again(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time, and I’ll make you happy
(Hey, hey, hey!) I’ll be home
I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-oooWhy do you build me up (Build me up) buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (Let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (Worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (Say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darling
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (Build me up) buttercup, don’t break my heartTo you I’m a toy but I could be the boy you adore
If you’d just let me know (Bah-dah-dah)
Although you’re untrue, I’m attracted to you all the more
Why do I need you so(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time and I’ll make you happy
(Hey, hey, hey!) I’ll be home
I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-oooWhy do you build me up (Build me up) buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (Let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (Worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (Say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darling
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (Build me up) buttercup, don’t break my heartI need you (I need you) more than anyone, baby
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (Build me up) Buttercup, don’t break my heart

Send me a cup of java!

Warning: This post is not for the faint of heart! Proceed at your own risk! LOL!

The other day, I saw a news article, “Pregnant woman uses train toilet, baby slips out.” In Ahmedabad, India, a pregnant woman gave birth while sitting on the crapper on a train.

According to the article, most of the toilets on Indian trains are merely shoots that empty right onto the tracks. (How disgusting is that?!) So, yes, you guessed it, the baby girl was found lying on the train tracks!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I like to write about these crazy kinds of stories, but this one is even better!

You see, my daughter, B, almost had the same fate!

No, she wasn’t born on a train. She didn’t end up on train tracks. And she wasn’t born in India.

B was, however, thisclose to being born in a toilet!

It was March of 1995. I was at the hospital and in labor with baby #4. I remember saying to myself, “Oh shit, I remember what this feels like now!” as the contractions got stronger.

My doctor had stopped in and checked on me at some point, and told me I had a ways to go. He was going to drop his wife off at the airport and come back. Neither of us knew then that he wouldn’t be back in time.

One of the nurses measured and said I was only x centimeters dilated. (Another one who believed I had a ways to go.)

I was in pain, tired and pissed that I had a ways to go–and did I mention the pain?–so I told them I wanted drugs.

Nurse informed me that I’d have to have an iv, so I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed again. As I’m not very fond of bed pans, I opted to use the restroom one last time before they hooked me up with my liquid relief.

*** This is the part you may want to skip if you’re at all apprehensive of hearing about using the toilet or the nitty-gritty details of babies almost being born. ***

Within seconds of me sitting on the commode, Nurse walked by the open restroom door, and asked, “You don’t feel like you have to push, do you?”, when I felt the baby’s head! So, a very surprised me responded, “Uh, yes!”

I don’t know where they all came from, but there were suddenly about six people in the room, getting me back onto the bed, my feet in the stirrups and telling me not to push. Heh!

One of the associates from my doctor’s office came rushing down to someone’s rescue (cuz I certainly wasn’t going to hold that kid in much longer–hello?!), and delivered my beautiful baby girl. The doctor’s shirt got ruined because (bless him!) he didn’t even take the time to throw scrubs on.

Being just shy of 13, B doesn’t quite see the humor in this story yet. She will.

Send me a cup of java!

This week, I’m re-posting “Isn’t it Romantic?” (from 12/11/07) because the event I wrote about happened almost exactly one year ago. (Yeah, I’m a sentimental freak, and that will be confirmed by the following post.)

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Isn’t it Romantic?On my birthday this year, my boyfriend gave me what is the sweetest, most romantic gift I’ve ever received: a letter. He’s a loving, caring man, with an awesome sense of humor! But, sometimes, he keeps his feelings out of sight. That’s a big part of why my birthday letter touched me so deeply.

An excerpt:

“Why You Mean So Much to Me”

I love you because, where I am dark, you are light. I love you because you shine that light into my darkness every day of our life together.

You make me laugh when I’d rather cry. You make me smile in spite of myself.

You give me all of you, freely, with kindness, sincerity and love, every waking moment.”

How could I not be completely and madly in love with a man who can tell me these things?!

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This letter continues to be something that I cherish and I re-read it often. In fact, it is hanging on my bulletin board, right here next to me.

It’s not the paper or the ink that make it mean so much. It’s not even the words really. It’s the feelings that are conveyed–straight from his heart. Along with the realization of how very fortunate I am to be loved in a way I never dreamed possible.

Ok! Enough of the sappy stuff!

Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures (my newest “stalker”!) and Coleen from Manners and Moxie. Go show these talented ladies some love, and let ‘em know I sent ya!

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In honor of my 100th post (Yay for Real World Mom!), I’ve decided to stick with tradition and write the “100 Things About Me” list.

100 Things I’ve Learned As A Mother

1. Love knows no boundaries
2. When you think you can’t possibly give any more, you do
3. You’ve got to choose your battles
4. I’m not much for defending myself, but don’t mess with my kids!
5. I know what unconditional love is
6. You learn to deal with boo-boos
7. I have three boys
8. How to deal with broken bones
9. And stitches
10. As well as bad dreams
11. Bad report cards
12. How not to puke when changing really gross diapers
13. Morning sickness is temporary
14. As is babyhood
15. There’s nothing like the feeling you get when looking into your baby’s eyes and they’re looking back at you
16. I’ve learned to trust my instincts
17. Though I don’t always listen to them
18. And I usually regret it
19. You really can feel your heart swell with pride
20. Seeing those first steps
21. When they take off on that bike alone for the first time
22. And your heart is in your throat
23. But they fly!
24. Good report cards
25. Seeing them in a production at school (no matter how minor the part, they’re stars!)
26. Coffee really is fuel
27. I didn’t start drinking it until I was 21
28. After child #2
29. I needed serious fuel with him
30. And even more with #3
31. I believe in something I call “Second Child Syndrome”
32. It seems one of the second child’s obligations to his or her parents is to drive them crazy
33. And supply your gray hair
34. And be really sweet and lovable–at just the right moments
35. I remember a comedian once said, “God makes babies cute so you don’t kill ‘em”
36. I think it was Gallagher (the comedian)
37. I think he was right
38. Sleep becomes a rare and much sought-after commodity
39. Don’t plan on getting any until they’re teenagers
40. And like to sleep late themselves
41. But then you lie awake worrying about them anyway
42. Who they’re friends are
43. What they’re really doing when they’re not home
44. Will they do the right things?
45. Make the right choices?
46. Will they be successful?
47. Will my car come home in the same shape it left in?
48. Is their new job interfering too much with school?
49. Isn’t it time for them to be home by now?
50. Labor is only the beginning of the pain you’ll go through as a Mom
51. You’ll hurt every time one of your kids does
52. It will devastate you to see them disappointed
53. Or, worse yet, injured
54. I am able to handle more than I think I can
55. Son #2 had an accident in which he fractured his skull
56. He was only 7
57. I’ve never been so scared
58. He was at a children’s hospital for three days
59. The worst three days of my life
60. I still thank God it wasn’t nearly as serious as it could have been
61. I needed my Mom during that time too
62. You don’t outgrow needing your Mom
63. There is just never going to be enough time
64. To do all that you want to do
65. To see all that you want to see
66. Or to say all that you want to say
67. I have to do the best that I can
68. You can never say “I love you” too much
69. I don’t remember my parents saying it to me
70. I make sure I say it to my children (and loved ones) at every opportunity
71. My kids say “I love you”
72. Even after four pregnancies and four kids, I still can’t handle puke
73. Doing it
74. Seeing someone do it
75. Hearing anyone do it
76. I did, however, get used to the sight of blood
77. Son #2 got stitches twice
78. Once in his head
79. And once in his lip
80. I told him the scar would look sexy one day
81. He’s 18 now
82. And it does!
83. No, I don’t think my son is sexy
84. But he is very handsome!
85. Son #3 cut his hand pretty badly when he was two
86. We got to skip the stitches on that one though
87. Because we sat in the emergency room so long, it stopped bleeding
88. We called his pediatrician from the ER, and he advised us how to care for it
89. My daughter has broken both of her wrists
90. Once when she fell off of a bike
91. The other when she fell off of a skateboard
92. Wheels can be dangerous
93. Son #1 is now 20
94. A year older than I was when I had him
95. Son #2 is 18
96. Son #3 is 16
97. Daughter #1 (and only) will be 13 in just under a month
98. I have been blessed with four beautiful children
99. They are beautiful inside and out
100. Nothing else I do in this lifetime will ever be as important as being their mother

Send me a cup of java!

I’m borrowing this idea from Jill at Caffeine Court–how I love that name–and her blog, so please be sure to stop by and say hello! What a great way to get to know a little more about each other!

Jill wrote:
“I’d like to do a little roll call. If you don’t mind would you please state your first name and the state you live in. You can give more information if you want.”

Some info about me:

• My name is Stacey and I live in Ocean County, NJ, but I’m originally from PA.
• I have four wonderful children–three boys, ages 20, 18 and 16, and one daughter who will be 13 in only five weeks.
• We have a dog, Madison (you can see her here, here, and here), who is almost six years old, and the sweetest ‘puppy’ ever!
• I’m currently going through the “wonderful” process known as divorce, which is a real pain in the ass quite educational (more info on that here, here and here)!
• I met the love of my life (”T”) in June of 2006, and we’ve been together ever since (tidbits on him here, here, here, and here)!

I’m really looking forward to reading the responses to this post! Have fun, kids!

Send me a cup of java!

Seventeen months ago today, T asked me to move in with him. I was already spending every weekend here, and those weekends were getting a little bit longer all the time (but never quite long enough!). I’d leave work early on Friday, take Monday off, or leave from here on Monday morning to go to work, etc. (At the time, I lived two, very long hours away.)

Leaving here to go ‘home’ was always very difficult for me. I didn’t want to be away from T for a few hours, let alone a whole week! I’d cry half the drive back to PA.

Then I’d call T to let him know I’d arrived home safely. Hearing his voice and knowing we were so far away from each other would usually get the tears flowing again. (Bless that man for putting up with my emotional side!)

On Sunday, September 17, I was here for the weekend (as usual), and I had taken the next day off from work so I could have extra time with T.

If I remember correctly, he and I were out on the back patio drinking our coffee (still one of our favorite things to do in nice weather), when he asked me if I’d move in with him.

At first I was afraid I’d heard him wrong! It was just too good to be true! But, I did hear correctly, and I think it may have taken me a whole second (or two) to accept!

God knows we’ve had some major ups and downs in this time, but, we’ve managed to face them–and deal with them–together.
So, today, on our 17-month anniversary, I am feeling quite sentimental. I still think of those long, lonely drives home. When I had to force myself to go in the opposite direction of where I really wanted to be.

I’m so happy to be able to share my life, every day, with this man whom I love with all my heart!

Send me a cup of java!

In the spirit of the day, three Ohio couples tied the knot yesterday–at White Castle (yes, the fast-food burger place)!

The flower girl sprinkled salt and pepper packets.  The grooms wore employee name tags in lieu of flowers on their lapels.  The wedding cake was designed to look like a tray with burgers, fries and a drink.

So, this wouldn’t exactly be my first choice of a setting for a wedding, but I gotta give them credit for uniqueness!

“Ohio Couples Have White (Castle) Wedding”

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

To my kids, D, M, S & B~ You guys have amazed me from the day each of you were born, and you continue to do so to this day. I am very proud of all four of you for being the intelligent, caring individuals that you are. I’m very lucky to be your mom, and I love you very much!

To T~ On our second Valentine’s Day together, I can honestly say that I love you more now than ever before. You’re the best ’significant other’ and tech support a girl could ever hope for, and I am beyond blessed to have you in my life!

To my blogging friends~ Thank you for all the support, kindness and friendship that you’ve shown me. By reading your blogs and exchanging comments and emails, I feel like I’m getting to know a lot of you, and it’s like I’ve got an extended family out there in the blogosphere!

However you feel about Valentine’s Day, I hope that each of you gets to enjoy the day as you see fit, and I wish that for you everyday.

Happy Valentine’s Day/February 14th!

Send me a cup of java!

“It’s ok. It’s so nice. It’s just another day in paradise.
Well, there’s no place that I’d rather be .
Two hearts, and one dream,
I wouldn’t trade it for anything .
And I ask the lord every night,
For just another day in paradise…”

Routines can be helpful in many ways. They can give a sense of security, in that we know what to expect. There’s also an aspect of comfort in knowing that we can go through many of our daily activities on auto-pilot.

A routine can help us accomplish a heck of a lot, cuz we know what needs to be done, in what order, and exactly how, because we do it all the time.

However, routines can also have a serious down-side if we’re not careful. I’ve become more aware of this lately in my own life.

Sometimes, we begin to rely so heavily on our daily routine that we forget about other important things that also need our attention.

I should have let the dinner dishes sit while I went and played a game with the kids more often.

I need to remind myself, repeatedly, to do special things for me. Even if that just means treating myself to an hour-long bubble bath!

I want to make more time for just T and I. Instead of putting work and other stuff ahead of us so much.

My point? The mountain of laundry, that phone call to be returned, and even the email (coming from me, that’s saying something!) can wait while we take the time to live our lives a little each day. Kids grow up, we get older, and life goes by way too fast. Remember to create and enjoy the moments along the way.

Opening paragraph is an excerpt from the song “Just Another Day in Paradise”, written by Craig Wiseman and Phil Vassar. Performed by Phil Vassar.

Send me a cup of java!

Announcing the Birth of~

Real World Mom Enterprises™

As some of you may know, I have been blogging here on realworldmom.com for a few months now. It’s become my passion!

Real World Mom was actually owned by my significant other, T (author and mastermind behind The Inflatable Soapbox™). He offered the project to me because he felt that blogging and building a site would be something I’d enjoy. I have to admit, I wasn’t so sure of this at first.

Let me backtrack (and brag) for just a moment… T is a total ‘computer guy’. He can build machines, write programs, design websites, etc., etc., etc. (He is affectionately known around here as “The Code Wizard”! And, let me tell you, it really comes in handy living with my Tech Support!)

So, for any tweaks or changes I want to make on realworldmom.com, I’ve always got his guidance and knowledge to make it happen. (My current project is working on getting a forum together so there can be lots of interaction here. Keep an eye out for that!)

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been playing working hard to build content and traffic to realworldmom.com, and I think I went and impressed T with what I’ve accomplished so far!

Last night, he transferred ownership of Real World Mom to me, and so, Real World Mom Enterprises™ has been born! My new ‘baby’! T says it’s my early birthday gift, and I can’t think of anything that could’ve come close to being more perfect (well, except maybe last year’s gift)!

To T: Thank you for always believing in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. Thank you for knowing when to hold me and let me cry and when to offer an encouraging word and a kick in the ass to keep me moving forward. Thank you for trusting me with your dreams and for wanting me to be a part of them. Thank you for loving me no matter what. Thank you for being you. I’m very proud of you too, and I love you with all my heart. We make one hell of a team!

 

Send me a cup of java!