Real World Mom

About sixteen years ago, I was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in both hands. The symptoms alone are not enough to earn you a diagnosis, as many of you may be aware. You must endure two medical tests, which, in my humble opinion, are pretty barbaric! For more information about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, check out online nursing classes that can teach you the conditions and diseases that cause Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Image from U.S. National Library of Medicine.

At that time, my right hand was the worst, so, after wearing a brace for several weeks (which was a major pain in the butt), I finally had surgery (Carpal Tunnel Release). The brace helped my left hand enough that I was mostly symptom-free until just a few months ago.

Since about November, it has progressively gotten worse; it often wakes me during the night (sometimes it is very painful), and the thumb and first three fingers often become numb/tingly/painful off-and-on throughout the day. It’s interfering with my daily activities, so I spoke to my doctor about it. Unfortunately, I had to have the archaic diagnostic tests again. (Yeah, I was dreading it.)

So, about two weeks ago, I went to a neurologist for the testing. First, there was the increasingly uncomfortable nerve conduction velocity (NCV) procedure, where they ran electrical current through various positions on my hand and arm. At first, it wasn’t as bad as I’d remembered, and I even mentioned that to the doctor. Perhaps that was a mistake. The shocks got stronger. I survived.

Next up was the Electromyography (EMG). I’m certain this has been used as a method of torture–and possibly still is. This is when they inserted a needle into the muscles of my hand and arm, and had me contract the muscle (ouch!) to measure how well the muscles react to nerve stimulation. This was the worst of the two tests by far. I don’t care to repeat either one ever again!

This is the machine that inflicts the torture (with the doctor's help).

At the end of all this, the doctor confirmed what I already knew: I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Now I have to wait until my doctor receives the neurologist’s report so that we can discuss the next step. Personally, I’d rather get the surgery over with sooner rather than later (and prevent me from going through these tests again in the future!). We shall see.

Have any of you had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? How did you treat it? How are you now? I’d love to hear!

Recently, Tim and I were watching an episode of King of Queens. Carrie (the wife) was trying to hide the fact that she was happy with her job from her husband, because, for some reason, it bothered him. I turned to Tim and said, “I can’t imagine having a partner who would be so unsupportive.” A few seconds later, I added, “Oh, wait. Yes I can.”

I was married to my ex-husband for over twenty years, and he rarely (if ever) encouraged me to pursue my goals or dreams. In fact, he often tried to make me feel like a fool for evening thinking about whatever it was. I remember a time when I wanted to take gemology courses. His reaction was something like, “What? Are you crazy?!” (By the way, that reaction is what finalized my decision to go ahead and take the courses.)

In almost six years, I cannot remember any instance where Tim tried to discourage me from trying something I wanted to try. In fact, there are times I would have talked myself out of it if he hadn’t encouraged me (going to college is an excellent example).

In that time, Tim has also apparently helped me begin to forget what it was like to live with someone who, for whatever reason, found it difficult to be supportive. That realization felt damn good, and made me even more grateful for the relationship that Tim and I have. It isn’t perfect (though it is at times!), but it’s so much healthier than what I’ve experienced in my past.

Life is so much better when two people work together, believe in each other, and encourage one another to pursue what makes them happy. That is love.

Someone shared this quote with me recently, and this seems like an appropriate time and place to share it:

“Every woman’s heart has different instructions. They’re written in her eyes, in her smile, through her actions, and in her tears. She just has to find someone who cares enough to read them.”

I am blessed. He cares enough to read them–and he not only understands them, he’s helping me to rewrite them.

After many months of being unsure whether or not I would be able to continue going to school to earn my bachelor’s degree, I found out recently that it is absolutely possible! I’m going back to school in September! Kean University, here I come!

As if this weren’t enough great news, I will be able to do so on the same college campus where I went for my associate’s degree–close to home, familiar surroundings, and a place I love! Kean offers some baccalaureate and masters programs at this local campus, while their main campus is in Union, New Jersey.

My long-term goal is to earn a Master of Social Work degree (MSW). I had thought I would need a Bachelor of Social Work degree (BSW) in order to apply to a master’s program. Turns out, that’s not the case (at least not with the school I will be attending). While Kean does not offer a BSW program at the location I will be attending, there is an MSW program available. So, I will get a bachelor’s degree (most likely in psychology because I find it so interesting, and have already taken several psych courses), and then (hopefully) move into their master’s program. If you are so busy with work but still want to earn a social work degree, you might want to check out universities or colleges offering online classes about it.

The challenge right now is to be patient as I wait to find out which major might be most appropriate at this juncture, and waiting to register for classes. I’m also trying not to allow myself to start stressing over maintaining my GPA already. For me, these things are easier said than done.

Once again, I owe a huge thanks to Tim for encouraging me to look into what Kean University had to offer, and for reminding me that I can do anything I set my mind to!

I couldn’t have done it alone though. My daughter and Tim were my biggest cheerleaders. They also offered their tutoring services when I needed them (yes, my daughter is one smart cookie!). If it hadn’t been for Tim’s encouragement, I probably never would have even gone to college in the first place. He believed in me when I doubted myself, and that was/is a very precious gift!

There were also several professors, fellow students, and other people I met along the way, who helped to shape my college experience (mostly in positive ways).

Making my way toward the stage to receive my diploma, I caught sight of Tim and my daughter in the audience.

Receiving my diploma. I received an Associate in Science degree in human services.

The courses that I took were only part of my education. Yes, the lectures, homework, and studying were important. What was equally enlightening was how much I learned about myself, and what I am capable of achieving.

The math classes I had been so uneasy about? I earned A’s in every one. This was from the high school student who failed two math courses. Upon earning that first A, I began to realize that maybe I could handle college. Hell, if I could get an A in math, anything was possible!

In November 2009, I was invited to become a member of Phi Theta Kappa, an international honor society. To qualify for induction, and to remain in good standing, a student must maintain at least a 3.5 grade point average. I did, throughout all six semesters. So I had the privilege of wearing the Phi Theta Kappa gold stole and tassel at graduation. I graduated Cum Laude, with a 3.74 overall grade point average. Not bad for someone who didn’t think they could handle college, eh?

The graduate!

Thank you to everyone who shared this journey with me. To those who offered encouragement and support, and those who took the time to read about my accomplishments and frustrations along the way. This was a true team effort, and I am eternally grateful to everyone who helped my dream come true!

Seems like forever since I’ve written (it’s actually pretty close to that long!).  It’s been a somewhat challenging year for me, so I’ll use that as an excuse I guess.

Let’s see…  The last month of school was a difficult one for me on a personal level, but, thanks to the understanding and cooperation of some great professors, I finished with a perfect grade point average!  I also received two awards.  The one I’m most proud of was for “Academic Excellence.”

It seems the summer has flown by, and now I’m trying to mentally prepare for my next-to-last semester of college.  As usual, I’m a bit nervous.  New professors, new challenges, etc.  Hopefully I will continue to do as well as I have thus far.

I’m feeling a bit rusty at this, so I think I’ll keep this post short, and consider it a warm-up for the days ahead!