Real World Mom

Paul and I went through four years of high school together.  He helped to make many a boring class bearable.  He drew hilarious cartoon images of teachers, other students, and various other things.  No matter how bad my day was going, he could always make me laugh!

We took–and failed–a COBOL class together.  What a bore that teacher was!  We consistently pissed the teacher off with our laughing and talking, but, that was the only way we could find to get through that period!  Mr. Krout would be shocked to learn that Paul is now in the IT field. 

We lived only blocks apart, so not only did we see each other at school everyday, we rode the bus together and would often bump into each other around our small town.

We even worked at the same retail chain store, though I lasted only a month or two, and Paul ended up staying there for ten years.

I can’t remember a time during high school when Paul and I weren’t friends.  He was always there for me.  He was a true friend.

Sadly, as so many high school friendships do, we eventually lost touch.  I’ve thought of him often over the years, and wondered how he was, where he was and what he was doing.

When I signed into MySpace the other day, there was a new friend request.  Much to my surprise, it was Paul! I couldn’t believe it!

We’ve exchanged a couple of emails so far, trying to catch up on the last twenty-plus years of our lives.  Talking to him again, after all this time, is so cool!  I can’t tell you how happy I am to be in touch with my friend again!

*In case you’re reading this, “Hi, Paul!”*

Summer is my absolute favorite season. Here are some of the reasons why I love summer so much:

• Laying in the sun totally relaxes me
• The sound of seagulls
• Going to the beach (although I like that any time of year)
• Seeing (and smelling) all the beautiful flowers
• I’m able to wear shorts, go barefoot, or wear sandals
• It’s butterfly season
• Barbecues
• Sandy beaches
• The boardwalk
• Gardening
• Green leaves on the trees
• I can spend time outside
• My semi-tan

What are your favorite things about summer?

Took my college placement test last week.  As expected, I did crappy on the math portion.  So, I have to take two–count ‘em, two–extra math classes to catch my butt up to speed.  I’m planning on taking the first one in the fall semester and the second one during winter break.  Then, I’ll take the last class in the spring semester and be finished with math!

My orientation/registration appointment is on July 7, and I can’t wait!  I’ll be an official college student then! 

In other news…

Real World Mom continues to sport this “interim look”, due to the fact that I still haven’t decided on a new theme.  I have, however, narrowed it down to three options.  One of them would take a lot of tweaking, so if I choose that one, Tim will have a new project on his to-do list!

Work still sucks ass, but, thanks to a scheduling adjustment, it may now actually be bearable–for the most part.  “Gnatalie” and I have come to an unspoken understanding, so I no longer dread working with her.  Unfortunately, there is another “semi-manager” who is a major pain in the ass.  Seriously, this chick brings the morale of everyone around her down.  I haven’t quite figured out the best way to handle her…yet.

Tomorrow (Monday) is a big day for me. I’m going to take my placement test for college.

I know I’m going to screw up big-time on the math portion. For one thing, math and I never got along all that well. Sure, I can add and subtract (especially when we’re talking about percent-off sales!), but beyond that, my head tends to start hurting! Also, it’s been a long, freaking time since I did any ‘real’ math. I graduated from high school 22 years ago! Ugh.

The worst that can happen is I’ll score poorly on the test and be forced required to take a refresher course (or two), that will cost money and won’t give me any credits.

Then again, the best thing that could happen is a miracle, and I’ll somehow squeak by on the low-end of passing!

In any case, wish me luck! I’ll let you all know how it goes!

The Change

One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
It’s like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm

And I hear them saying you’ll never change things
And no matter what you do it’s still the same thing
But it’s not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

This heart
Still believes
The love and mercy still exist
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It’s like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss

And I hear them saying you’ll never change things
And no matter what you do it’s still the same thing
But it’s not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone

I hear them saying you’ll never change things
And no matter what you do it’s still the same thing
But it’s not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me

What I do is so
This world will know
That it will not change me

*Recorded by Garth Brooks
*Written by Tony Arata and Wayne Tester

Last night, I found out that Sam from Temporarily Me has been pregnant ‘forever’. Her friend Karen (Karen Sugarpants) wanted to try to cheer her up by throwing her a virtual baby shower, and having other moms share their overdue baby stories. Please visit Sam and leave her some words of encouragement!

My first child, D, was 15 [long] days late. He was due on June 17 but didn’t actually show up until July 2. Being June/July, it was hot, and I had gained about 50 pounds during my pregnancy; needless to say, I was a little cranky. Since this was my first child, I think I was more impatient than anything.

On the evening of July 1, I finally started having real contractions. I spoke to my doctor on the phone, then proceeded to take a shower and shave my legs. (Hubby thought I was crazy, but I wasn’t leaving the house without a shower!)

My baby D was born at 9:17 a.m. on July 2, 1987. All the crankiness and pregnancy discomfort was forgotten as I held my firstborn son.

Pregnancy number two also went past the due date. This time, by six [long] days. (Funny how the days seem much longer when you’re overdue!) I was much crankier that time. I hadn’t gained quite as much weight, but it was hot again and I wanted to be un-pregnant!

M was due on May 30 and finally arrived on June 5, 1989, at 2:18 a.m. (yeah, my boys liked the morning for some reason). Once again, the misery of the last couple of weeks was replaced with joy!

My average did improve with the next two children…

S (son #3) was born on October 22, 1991, at 6:55 a.m.–on his due date! (Thank you, S!)

And my daughter (baby #4), B, was born on March 23, 1995, at 5:07 p.m. Two days before her due date!

So, there is hope, Sam. And, one medical certainty: You will not be pregnant forever! Best of luck to you and your family! I want to see pics of the new arrival when you get the chance!

For the first time since I started Real World Mom, I’ve gone a whole week without posting anything. That sucks!

I’ve been so tired from working, that when I’m home, it seems I’m always trying to play catch up: rest (hope that actually happens someday!), housework, laundry, emails, etc. I’m still having a hell of a time trying to get into a routine with all this.

Then there’s the writer’s block. (Not only have I neglected my sites (realworldmom.com and thesaltymooch.com), but I haven’t posted on New Jersey Moms Blog or The AntHill in a while either.) I don’t know if it’s because I’m just so tired all the time, or I’m just having trouble switching gears back into ‘blogger mode’ when I have the chance, but I feel like I’ve just got nothing to write about!

The job still sucks ass, a little more now because it’s killing my back. I think I’m just too freaking old for this shit!

Haven’t registered for school yet, and I’m hoping it’s not too late.

I always feel like I’m not getting a damn thing accomplished, and that I’m just doing what I can to get through the day. What a crappy way to live…

Some good news too:  I was selected to become a member of cre8Buzz!’s  Buzz Board!  This, my friends, is very cool to me!

Anyway, I’m still alive, and hopefully I’ll be back–for real–soon!

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
-Helen Keller

A friend recently reminded me of this quote, and, today, it seems appropriate to share it with all of you. One door has closed for me, so another has opened. And I plan on walking through it.

One year and a day after filing, I received my final divorce decree!

My first feeling upon reading the words, “And now, 8th day of May, 2008, it is ordered and decreed that Stacey D., plaintiff, and Husband D., defendant, are divorced from the bonds of matrimony,” was relief. After such a long, and sometimes bitter battle, it felt so good to have closure!

Then, somewhat to my surprise, I felt a little sad. I guess with everything he’s put me through, I just didn’t expect to experience any sadness. However, I also believe that it’s a normal reaction. I’ve known this man for 30 years (most of my life), and we were married for over 21 years. And, an ending, no matter how much you look forward to it, is still an ending. A passing of something.

I’m glad to be able to say I have no regrets about my decision. In my situation, a divorce was the only solution. And I do not feel as though I’ve failed either. I know that I gave my marriage my best effort, often when I felt I was the only one who was trying.

I will probably call my ex in the next few days to see how he’s doing. (Seems odd saying “my ex”, without prefacing it with “soon-to-be”.) As I’ve mentioned before, I do hope that he and I will be able to maintain some kind of friendship, not only for the kids, but for him and I too. Maybe it will be easier now that we are beyond the bullshit!

And it feels so good!
Ok, minds out of the gutters! What I mean is, at this time yesterday (11 a.m.), I had already been at work for five hours. Today, I’m off, and I’m sitting here in sweat pants and one of Tim’s t-shirts. Ahh!

My first week at the new job has been good overall. It’s nice to be out in the world again and–best of all–making a little money!! Though being on my feet so much and the odd hours are a little more difficult getting used to than I thought they would be. Guess turning 40 does, in fact, have some impact on my body, if not my mind!

There is one woman at work who I have some issues with. For her sake, I’ll refer to her as “Gnatalie“. (As her new name implies, she is an annoyance, but a rather small one in the scheme of life.)

Gnatalie has recently been promoted to a level slightly above minion, and I’m afraid it’s totally gone to her head. Since I’ve seen this same thing happen to really nice people, I’m trying to give her some time to deflate on her own before I get my pin out and help her with it.

She’s having a grand old time giving orders and kissing the manager’s asses. (Hello? Stupid? You’ve already got the promotion. Knock it off already!) So, when she gets too close to me, I use my fly swatter and gently swat her away. For now.

Today, I’m catching up on the things I haven’t had the energy to do all week. My Google reader is empty, I’m actually writing a post, and I’m on load #2 of laundry! Think I’ll even clean something! Later, I’m planning to take Madison and my new book out on the patio and just chill in the sun!

Tim has been a total sweetheart and 100% supportive. He’s been dealing with the daily stuff around the house, pampering me with dinner and chocolate milk, and not letting me do anything I don’t absolutely have to in my free time. I’ve been reminded everyday just how lucky–and loved–I am! I love you, Ubu! ♥

Recently I was asked to review a book on teenage pregnancy. Although I was married and my pregnancy was planned, I was a teen mom. I’m also the mother of a 13 year old daughter. When I learned that the book, “Hope…Joy (and a Few Little THOUGHTS)™ for Pregnant Teens” was written to inspire and give hope to young mothers, I knew I had to read it.

Something else that impressed me was that the author, Rachel Brignoni, wrote from experience, not just opinion. Rachel herself gave birth to a son at the age of 17.

Simply stated, this book offers hope and encouragement to pregnant teenagers and teen moms. Which, unfortunately, is not typically easy to find in our society.

Rachel suggests ways of helping to change negative thoughts into positive ones, creating a happier, more confident person. She also includes exercises in the book to put readers on the path of finding out who they are, what they want from life and how to set–and attain– the necessary goals to turn it into a reality.

One of my favorite quotes from the book (which can be applied to all of us) is, “Your perceptions of your situation, positive or negative, have the power to shape your experience.” In my opinion, this is absolutely true, and all the more reason that pregnant teens–or anyone going through a difficult situation–should be surrounded by as much positive influence and encouragement as possible. This book should definitely be a part of that network of support.

Included with the book is a cd entitled “A Whisper of Hope.” (Click on the title to be taken to YouTube to see the video and hear the song.)

If you know any teenagers who are pregnant or have recently become mothers, please consider recommending this book to them. It’s currently available through the publisher’s website: Hope…Joy (and a Few Little THOUGHTS)™, as well as Amazon.com (see below).