“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
-Helen Keller
A friend recently reminded me of this quote, and, today, it seems appropriate to share it with all of you. One door has closed for me, so another has opened. And I plan on walking through it.
One year and a day after filing, I received my final divorce decree!
My first feeling upon reading the words, “And now, 8th day of May, 2008, it is ordered and decreed that Stacey D., plaintiff, and Husband D., defendant, are divorced from the bonds of matrimony,” was relief. After such a long, and sometimes bitter battle, it felt so good to have closure!
Then, somewhat to my surprise, I felt a little sad. I guess with everything he’s put me through, I just didn’t expect to experience any sadness. However, I also believe that it’s a normal reaction. I’ve known this man for 30 years (most of my life), and we were married for over 21 years. And, an ending, no matter how much you look forward to it, is still an ending. A passing of something.
I’m glad to be able to say I have no regrets about my decision. In my situation, a divorce was the only solution. And I do not feel as though I’ve failed either. I know that I gave my marriage my best effort, often when I felt I was the only one who was trying.
I will probably call my ex in the next few days to see how he’s doing. (Seems odd saying “my ex”, without prefacing it with “soon-to-be”.) As I’ve mentioned before, I do hope that he and I will be able to maintain some kind of friendship, not only for the kids, but for him and I too. Maybe it will be easier now that we are beyond the bullshit!
Send me a cup of java!
