Originally posted on 12/12/07, “Perfectionism”, is still something I struggle with.
Why is it that we are so often our own worst critics? It can be a very difficult way of life, when we are consistently putting ourselves down, telling ourselves that what we do isn’t good enough, that we’re not good enough…So we try harder, determined to make every endeavor turn out perfectly. But, every endeavor does not turn out perfectly (in fact, probably very few do), and we are left feeling even worse about ourselves and our abilities.
In my own personal situation, I think this was a contributing factor to my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) diagnosis. I remember my doctor telling me, “You can’t be ’super mom’, you can’t do it all!” I’ve reminded myself of that quite often over the years, and it does help fairly often.
It’s not as though the world expects us to be perfect in everything we say and everything we do–so why do we put that unrealistic expectation on ourselves? Will your son love you less because your boss got upset with you yesterday? Do you think your husband will sleep on the couch if there’s a dish in the sink? Does your daughter avoid you because you’re having a bad hair day? Surely your best friend will simply refuse to go to the mall with you because you haven’t picked up that dry cleaning yet!
This all sounds silly, but, the bottom line is, that’s what it’s really all about. Your family and friends love you–imperfections and all! We need to look at ourselves with that same kind of love, care and understanding that those close to us do–and give ourselves a break!!
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