Warning: This post is not for the faint of heart! Proceed at your own risk! LOL!

The other day, I saw a news article, “Pregnant woman uses train toilet, baby slips out.” In Ahmedabad, India, a pregnant woman gave birth while sitting on the crapper on a train.

According to the article, most of the toilets on Indian trains are merely shoots that empty right onto the tracks. (How disgusting is that?!) So, yes, you guessed it, the baby girl was found lying on the train tracks!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I like to write about these crazy kinds of stories, but this one is even better!

You see, my daughter, B, almost had the same fate!

No, she wasn’t born on a train. She didn’t end up on train tracks. And she wasn’t born in India.

B was, however, thisclose to being born in a toilet!

It was March of 1995. I was at the hospital and in labor with baby #4. I remember saying to myself, “Oh shit, I remember what this feels like now!” as the contractions got stronger.

My doctor had stopped in and checked on me at some point, and told me I had a ways to go. He was going to drop his wife off at the airport and come back. Neither of us knew then that he wouldn’t be back in time.

One of the nurses measured and said I was only x centimeters dilated. (Another one who believed I had a ways to go.)

I was in pain, tired and pissed that I had a ways to go–and did I mention the pain?–so I told them I wanted drugs.

Nurse informed me that I’d have to have an iv, so I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed again. As I’m not very fond of bed pans, I opted to use the restroom one last time before they hooked me up with my liquid relief.

*** This is the part you may want to skip if you’re at all apprehensive of hearing about using the toilet or the nitty-gritty details of babies almost being born. ***

Within seconds of me sitting on the commode, Nurse walked by the open restroom door, and asked, “You don’t feel like you have to push, do you?”, when I felt the baby’s head! So, a very surprised me responded, “Uh, yes!”

I don’t know where they all came from, but there were suddenly about six people in the room, getting me back onto the bed, my feet in the stirrups and telling me not to push. Heh!

One of the associates from my doctor’s office came rushing down to someone’s rescue (cuz I certainly wasn’t going to hold that kid in much longer–hello?!), and delivered my beautiful baby girl. The doctor’s shirt got ruined because (bless him!) he didn’t even take the time to throw scrubs on.

Being just shy of 13, B doesn’t quite see the humor in this story yet. She will.

15 Responses to “Speedy Delivery!”

  1. zoeyjane Says:

    how did they know???

  2. Maria [Immoral Matriarch] Says:

    Whoa ho ho!!! Awesome story!!

    And was that baby okay?

  3. Stacey Says:

    @zoeyjane: I’m not sure. Perhaps when the mom became conscious again, it was evident?

    @Maria: According to the story, the baby wasn’t injured during the birth or fall, but she was in intensive care due to being premature.

  4. Mama Zen Says:

    So much for a ways to go!

  5. Liz Says:

    Seeing 3 out of 4 of may babies came shooting out and doc caught them like fielding freakin’ footballs, I totally understand!

  6. Carrie Says:

    OMG. That is insane. I am so glad that baby is going to be okay!

    And your story is crazy also. Last week, a gal I went to hs with gave birth to her 5th baby on the dining room floor in the middle of the night — all is well but whoa! Crazyness!

    I guess I’m glad I only had three kids . . . a fourth birth may have been done me in!

  7. kelly Says:

    This story is awesome! I’m glad to hear that your daughter was okay, and that the poor baby who fell onto the tracks was okay.

    My brother was born in the car on the way to the hospital. When my parents pulled up to the hospital, my dad drove up onto the curb, right to the doors, and jumped out screaming bloody hell!!

    The doc’s came out, got my mom out into a wheelchair, as she held half of my little bro’s body, which was still coming out of her, and they brought my mom behind the first curtain they saw to take my bro fully out and cut the cord. They didn’t even move my mom to a real room till they had the little bugger out safe. Crazy!

  8. Stacey Says:

    @Mama Zen: That’s for sure!

    @Liz: Lucky you!

    @Carrie: Maybe that’s another good reason I shouldn’t go for #5!

    @kelly: Your poor Dad! LOL!

  9. Skittles Says:

    oh my gosh!!!!!

    I found this and wanted to share it with you.

  10. Melinda Says:

    Wow, those are some crazy stories.

    Good to hear that everyone was okay!

    Sounds like your girlie will have one interesting story to be telling her own kids someday! She shouldn’t be embarrassed, just maybe that she was able to make you ahem…relax.

  11. melissa Says:

    that sort of happened to me with baby 2! i was told i had a way to go. all of a sudden, i thought i had to use the bathroom…that’s sort of what it felt like…they checked me one more time, before i got up…the baby was crowning…so, i guess i kinda had to poop…i had to poop out a baby!! i’ve never seen doctors, nurses and hospital equipment act so fast!! i got that sucker out in less than 5 minutes…very impressed with myself, might i add!!

  12. imac Says:

    Love your skies with the jet streams, well captured.

    Thanks for visiting my blog and your kind comments.

  13. dkaye Says:

    Now how come Nick couldn’t have been that easy? Little shit was 33 hours of torture.

  14. Huckdoll Says:

    OMG, I’m so happy that I had a nice, peaceful c-section, pre-scheduled a good month in advance :D Not my choice of course, the girls were both breech and no doctor in the country would attempt delivering naturally.

    Weird, yet fascinating stories!

  15. LunaNik Says:

    THAT is one of the best birth stories I have ever heard!!!

    Wow.

    Hah.

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