Archive for the 'Humor' Category


Happy (mostly) Wordless Wednesday!


Turning the music down in your car when looking for a street sign so you can see better.

 

I'm not really a control freak but, can I show you the right way to do that?


If you’re trying to find the perfect gift for your children’s teachers, see some suggestions in my last blog post:
The End of Another School Year.


For even more ideas, visit my website by clicking on the image below:
StaceyD on Scentsy



Graphic with: You are about to exceed the limits of my medication.

Quite appropriate after the chaotic last couple of weeks.

 

Graphic with: Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

 

Graphic with: Romeo and Juliet is just another example of why communication within a relationship is so crucial.

 

Woman on phone.

These great tips may really come in handy!


Ways To End a Boring Phone Call


 

Definition of klutz: noun; clumsy person.

Merriam-Webster
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/klutz

My name is Stacey, and I am a klutz. Doorknobs, tables, and dog toys are dangerous for me. Actually, most ordinary objects are. I can injure myself in pretty much any situation. And I have.

Here’s my most recent injury (it happened yesterday):

Index finger in a splint.

I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t remember how I did it. I think I was doing something with the laundry. Whatever it was, it was something that would have been harmless to anyone else. When it happened, I thought to myself, “That shouldn’t have hurt.”

Fortunately, it’s just a sprain. Unfortunately, it’s the index finger on my right hand. (It’s taking a long time to type this.)

Last month, I broke my toe when it collided with our big, and very heavy coffee table. It’s still not completely healed.

It could have been worse. I tore the ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) in my left knee about seven years ago, when I stepped sideways. Yes, really. I was on a plane headed to Florida, to spend a long weekend with my best friend. I still went. It’s ok if you laugh, my surgeon did too! ;)

Tim is threatening to roll me up in bubble wrap to protect me from myself. I’m thinking it may not be such a bad idea. As long as it doesn’t cause me to have a heat stroke!

Maybe because I’ve been sick for the last eleven days, I was having difficulty finding inspiration for this week’s Wordless Wednesday post. I turned to my collection of humorous graphics. They (whoever “they” are) say that laughter is the best medicine. And, sick or not, who couldn’t use a smile or a laugh? So, without further adieu, here are some funnies for you, my friends!


Few things in life feel better than taking your bra off at the end of a long day.

Am I right ladies?



 


Wizard of Oz, the ultimate chick flick: Two women trying to kill each other over shoes.

New way of looking at The Wizard of Oz.


 


I'm just tweeting to tell you I blogged.

Doesn't everyone? LOL!




Speedy Delivery!

March 6th, 2008
Posted in Family, Health, Humor, Kids, Life, Love, News | 15 Comments »

Warning: This post is not for the faint of heart! Proceed at your own risk! LOL!

The other day, I saw a news article, “Pregnant woman uses train toilet, baby slips out.” In Ahmedabad, India, a pregnant woman gave birth while sitting on the crapper on a train.

According to the article, most of the toilets on Indian trains are merely shoots that empty right onto the tracks. (How disgusting is that?!) So, yes, you guessed it, the baby girl was found lying on the train tracks!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I like to write about these crazy kinds of stories, but this one is even better!

You see, my daughter, B, almost had the same fate!

No, she wasn’t born on a train. She didn’t end up on train tracks. And she wasn’t born in India.

B was, however, thisclose to being born in a toilet!

It was March of 1995. I was at the hospital and in labor with baby #4. I remember saying to myself, “Oh shit, I remember what this feels like now!” as the contractions got stronger.

My doctor had stopped in and checked on me at some point, and told me I had a ways to go. He was going to drop his wife off at the airport and come back. Neither of us knew then that he wouldn’t be back in time.

One of the nurses measured and said I was only x centimeters dilated. (Another one who believed I had a ways to go.)

I was in pain, tired and pissed that I had a ways to go–and did I mention the pain?–so I told them I wanted drugs.

Nurse informed me that I’d have to have an iv, so I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed again. As I’m not very fond of bed pans, I opted to use the restroom one last time before they hooked me up with my liquid relief.

*** This is the part you may want to skip if you’re at all apprehensive of hearing about using the toilet or the nitty-gritty details of babies almost being born. ***

Within seconds of me sitting on the commode, Nurse walked by the open restroom door, and asked, “You don’t feel like you have to push, do you?”, when I felt the baby’s head! So, a very surprised me responded, “Uh, yes!”

I don’t know where they all came from, but there were suddenly about six people in the room, getting me back onto the bed, my feet in the stirrups and telling me not to push. Heh!

One of the associates from my doctor’s office came rushing down to someone’s rescue (cuz I certainly wasn’t going to hold that kid in much longer–hello?!), and delivered my beautiful baby girl. The doctor’s shirt got ruined because (bless him!) he didn’t even take the time to throw scrubs on.

Being just shy of 13, B doesn’t quite see the humor in this story yet. She will.

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