Why do we, as women, feel that we must do it all, without asking for help? Can the answer be found in the age old nature vs. nurture controversy? Are we born with the belief that we must accomplish all tasks, even if it will leave us exhausted, mentally and physically? Or is it a myth bestowed upon us by society?
In my opinion, it’s a combination of both. In general, women are natural-born caretakers and nurturers. I think society exploits those qualities, making [most of] us feel that we have no choice but to keep going until everyone’s needs are met–with the exception of our own sometimes.
In 2009, why do we allow this to continue? And, if you’re not one of these superwomen, how do you keep yourself from being sucked in? I’m sure I’m not the only one who would like to know your secret!
I’ve gotten better than I used to be. But, I still have too many days when I find myself thinking, “I just don’t have the energy to …!!” It’s overwhelming and frustrating on so many levels. I’m blessed to have a partner who would do anything for me. Yet, I rarely say, “Sweetie, would you mind washing the dishes tonight?” Why? Does it make me weak because I got up at 6 a.m., worked all day, came home and made dinner, fed the dogs, and then just don’t want to wash dishes? My brain says, “Hell no!” So, the question remains…why don’t I ask for help?!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 PM
I am the same way. I have a very willing, helpful husband and I almost never ask for help. I also never ask for help at work. I do it all myself and then wonder why I’m exhausted. Its crazy!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:15 PM
It is crazy! I really would like to know why we do this to ourselves! Actually, it affects everyone around us.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:19 PM
I find myself doing just that everyday. There is always more to do and it never ends. We race around trying to do everything and even apologize for not being perfect. There has to be a happy medium between failing supermom and just giving up but I have not found it yet.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:44 AM
I don’t think perfection is even possible these days. Maybe 50 years ago when life was simpler, but not today. There just is not enough time to do everything that needs to be done.
I’m a guy, but I feel the same way. How am I supposed to go to work for 10-12 hours per day, come home and play with the kid, help the wife with dishes, mow the yard, blah blah blah. It just is not possible to do and expect to be happy with your life.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:55 PM
Were you secretly hiding in the bushes during my daughter’s birthday today, because this EXACTLY the feat I was trying to accomplish; being Superwoman/mom! I have been left at the end of the day exhausted and feeling guilty because I did not “do enough” for my child to make this day the most special one of the year. After every birthday I tell myself that I will not get “sucked in” to being the superwoman/mom, but every birthday, I fall willingly into that same pit I swore I would never put myself in again. Why do I/we do this; not just on birthdays, but on just about everything? I think that cultural expectations in our current society have dictated over the years that woman can be “everything”, and so…. we attempt to comply with that social conditioning.
Why can’t we just be women/mother’s/parents doing the best we can with what we have?
When you find the answer to that question – you will most likely be “Woman Of The Year”, and make a fortune off of it. Let me know when you do.
July 27th, 2009 at 10:56 AM
iam at ahhh with this–i am a superwomen but at times pull it together-but still fall off the high mountain–i feel exchauted i have taught my children to b so independent n self sufficent to help me out as a single mom of 2 for 15years yes iam and relize there are others i think there is no secret-but just at sometime think of your self cuz without taking care of u -there would be no superwomen myth good luck ladies
August 31st, 2009 at 11:51 AM
[...] I’ve earned all A’s and only one B after a year of college). This goes back to my “Superwoman Myth” post from July, but I can’t seem to help [...]
March 20th, 2010 at 4:01 PM
i was starting to imagine i could possibly end up being the sole man which cared about this, at the least at present i acknowledge i’m not crazy
i’ll make sure to examine some additional blogposts soon after i get a bit of caffeine in me, it is really problematic to read without having my coffee, I was really late last night practicing zynga poker and after getting my fill with a few beers i wound up getting rid of all my zynga poker chips take care 
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