Originally posted on 12/12/07, “Perfectionism”, is still something I struggle with.
Perfectionism
Why is it that we are so often our own worst critics? It can be a very difficult way of life, when we are consistently putting ourselves down, telling ourselves that what we do isn’t good enough, that we’re not good enough…So we try harder, determined to make every endeavor turn out perfectly. But, every endeavor does not turn out perfectly (in fact, probably very few do), and we are left feeling even worse about ourselves and our abilities.
In my own personal situation, I think this was a contributing factor to my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) diagnosis. I remember my doctor telling me, “You can’t be ’super mom’, you can’t do it all!” I’ve reminded myself of that quite often over the years, and it does help fairly often.
It’s not as though the world expects us to be perfect in everything we say and everything we do–so why do we put that unrealistic expectation on ourselves? Will your son love you less because your boss got upset with you yesterday? Do you think your husband will sleep on the couch if there’s a dish in the sink? Does your daughter avoid you because you’re having a bad hair day? Surely your best friend will simply refuse to go to the mall with you because you haven’t picked up that dry cleaning yet!
This all sounds silly, but, the bottom line is, that’s what it’s really all about. Your family and friends love you–imperfections and all! We need to look at ourselves with that same kind of love, care and understanding that those close to us do–and give ourselves a break!!
Scrolling Saturday was created by Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures and Coleen at Manners and Moxie. Be sure to stop by and say howdy! Send me a cup of java!
March 29th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I have become much better at letting things go the last few years. Having a kid with medical needs helped me get my priorities straight. I don’t know if I would’ve ever stopped craving perfection without having a sick kid. So, when people say they don’t know how I have been able to deal with all his problems, I tell them I’m blessed to have such problems. He has made my life better all the way around.
March 29th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I am so glad that you reposted this Stacey. It is so important, especially in today’s society where everyone SEEMS to be so perfect, and have it all together. When really, they don’t. It does come right down to family, friends. We can be our own worst critics.
I still have issues with this sometimes… almost to the point that I may not want to try something new, for fear of failure. That’s pretty bad. But since becoming a parent, I’ve been working hard at overcoming this natural tendency, because life is meant to be lived, and you can’t do that to the fullest by living with this fear - I think it’s important that my kids understand and live by that.
March 29th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I love the last two lines in this post! Perfect!!!
March 30th, 2008 at 1:32 am
So very true! I’ve been a way less than perfect mom/partner/daughter/sister/friend and amazingly, they all still love me.
March 30th, 2008 at 2:50 am
I’d never heard of this meme and now this is the second time today that I’ve run across it.
Geez.. I can really relate to a lot of what you posted here.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:29 am
Hello my favorite birthday twin! I wish you a terrific Monday. Laugh as you envision me in my algebra class I’m taking for the third qrt in a row. :P~~~~~~~~~
March 31st, 2008 at 8:46 am
You tell it sista! I struggle with this all the time… I needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing this post.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:53 am
Hi Stacey,
None of us are perfect are we and it is about accepting ourselves for who we are. There is so much pressure on everyone to succeed, but we also need to fail because we are not perfect. We are who we are…that’s it 
Have a wonderful week,
Great post my dear friend
Take care,
Colin from Life
March 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
As someone who has generalized axiety disorder and struggles to forgiver herself when she is not perfect, this post really hit home. Thanks~
March 31st, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I can’t be super mom?
Thakns for this post. I too struggle. I think most moms do.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
love your blog.
would you like to trade links?
Thanks
Vhiel
Can of Thoughts
Anything and Everything in Between
April 6th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Super mom… don’t even try anymore. Great post.
I read another post along these lines when I first started blogging. Something else the author had pointed out is how not only are we hard on ourselves, but sometimes we feel obligated to lean towards self-deprecating humor. How sad is that? Like the job isn’t hard enough already.